Hello, my name is Kelsey, and I’m an addict.
It started out so small and seemed innocent enough. I’d be sitting in a waiting room and pick up whatever foodie magazine the office had lying on the table. Inevitably, I’d see a recipe and think “I HAVE to make this! I can’t LIVE without this recipe.”
At first, I would search my purse for a pen and paper and quickly jot down the ingredients and read through the instructions. I’m a great cook so I did not usually need to copy everything.
Eventually, I’d cast glances around the office to see if anyone was watching as I’d tear one or two recipes straight from the magazine and tuck them into my purse.
Two days ago, however, I did the low of the low!
I am a rotten, dirty scoundrel! Enticed by not one, not two, but dozens of healthy, colorful, paletable recipes, I took it! I took the WHOLE magazine.
Heart pounding, I rolled it up and shoved it into my big bag!
Redness crept into my cheeks. Just as I was closing my bag I turned to see a technician walking down the hallway. Did she see me? If I take it out now and they see me, they will know? When I went to check on my daughter, I thought everyone was looking at me like they knew!
No, no, who is going to miss this? These kinds of offices do not have stoves! Why subscribe to gourmet foodie mags when all anyone really wants is to read People magazine and drink a cup of coffee? I mean, no one actually wants to admit they like reading People. They read it in waiting rooms because it is there.
Later, in the car, I had to take the magazine out before going into the grocery store with my 8 year old daughter.
“Mom, where did you get that magazine?”
“uh, uh, well, I uh, I stole it from the waiting room!”
My daughter’s eyes bulged and her mouth gaped open as she said “Mom, I can’t believe you did that! You told us there is NEVER a reason to steal. You have to take it back.”
The shame! The guilt! When had I become so addicted to recipe stealing? I agreed wholeheartedly, promised my daughter I would never ever do it again, apologized profusely, and and told her the next time we went in, I would take that magazine back along with two of my own cooking mags.
But until then, we are going to plan our meals around the recipes in that beautiful magazine and copy down the ones I want to keep. I can’t help myself! I have already made two and they were amazeballs!