You Might Live in the Country If…

  1. Every man in the nearest Pizza Hut is wearing either a Carhartt coat or jumper and a baseball cap.
  2. The nearest towns are all tiny and every single one of them has a Pizza Hut.
  3. You see six cars drive by while out doing yard work and say “wow, there is a lot of traffic today!”
  4. You and yours husband are too tired from working outside to stay up past 9pm watching a movie.
  5. You stop driving to the store every other day for food and finally plan ahead.
  6. You see more tractors drive by than cars.
  7. You begin to speak with a bit of a twang for instance saying “Ranch” from way up in the back of the nasal passage.
  8. Your car is always covered with dust and when you close the back of the van, it leaves a line of dust on your jeans every single time.
  9. You begin to live in a sweatshirt and pair of leggings because no one is going to come to the door.
  10. Your boy pees anywhere outside, even when company comes over, as a course of habit.
  11. Your kids ask you “where are we going today?” when they see you putting on your make-up.
  12. Your kids ask you “who is coming over today?” when they see you vigorously mopping the kitchen floor and cleaning under the furniture.
  13. You think your friends will love coming out here to spend time, forgetting that you did not like country life your first two years out here.
  14. You spend about 30 hours a week every summer mowing and weeding.
  15. You think standing over a hot stove in the summer while canning produce is FUN.

no starbucks

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